I
survived
because the bullet entered my skull at a velocity concurrent with
whatever I was thinking at the time. Relative patterns emerged upon the
crooked and messy exit process. The allegiance of scalp to bone, the
fibrous rag fucked in then out by mechanical suction, reversed
homeostasis by implosion. I understood, was corrected of past sciences.
My mind became a puking rap I was forced to pace or die. Revving
backward through calx memories at the speed of thought kept thousands
of faces winding together inserted within the tissue: a big bang
millisecond of confession, the epic break dance of my wrongs
illuminated by contained disruption. I evolved beyond the rhythm of my
dying and became temporarily invincible. This new physics incorporated
the weapon of my assassin and used its damage to enhance cognition. A
rafter of blood aligned slow gleams of my used-to-be thoughts and they
danced so hard I could not die.
I
curtsied for my assassin, broke the gun out of his hand, stopping my
radius into his throat, collapsing him in one long swallow. His
Adam’s apple, rabid purple thing, rolled squishing down my
sleeve. The way we shed, our play dowsed the ceiling. He died with a
second grade smile against the wall. My palm contorted the
architecture. An ugly frame of his last seconds grew around him. I
flattened his face into the asbestos, mulched the skull until every
loose idea became paint. The hot spike of his bullet rotated through my
brainpan, his ballistic rape session a constant boom. We established
the oldest bond imaginable, introduced by engineered metals. A
homosexual Nagasaki ricocheted my corneas. I cured him of any speed, no
thought a strong enough adhesive to bind back what I kept smashing. He
collapsed some animated smells. The room got nasty. I did not cease my
disassembly project. Both our pockets filled with blood and yellow
bone, jagged inches of what composed him to be used later, for unknown
purposes. I turned him into paste. I made him rain indoors. It was like
being married all over again. I learned everything about his casing in
ten seconds and was bored.
The
woman a floor below us began her menstrual cycle. I could
distinguish the bloat and grind of her expanding uterus, hear the egg
leak. Each contraction of her white rapids megaphone pussy popped my
ears. I was encapsulated by the volume of her cycle. She bled so loud
it must have ironed out the wrinkles in her labia. I shook the gun.
Hair floated out of the barrel. Needing immediate alternative pain, I
let the trigger slip. A hole smacked the floor and landed on her. Her
composure influenced my diaphragm. I overheard the bullet swim, blood
parting toward the wound, a path roared open. I had to cover my ears.
Her uterus split in half from above, some tragically wrong orgasm,
simultaneously fertilized and, through her mouth, as my bullet parted
from her, a monologue of self-contained abortion issued silently. I
pitied her newfound noiselessness. The only crackle was skin, no
children on the passing floors opening gifts to celebrate my departure.
#
A fetal stretch of moonlight kept her band-aids glowing. Her sheet was
gnawed down thin as she was. She tucked the pattern along a boney
outline of hip. It ended just under her chin, settled against her lips,
and she, now and again, absent-mindedly tongued the cloth.
She knew I could kill her, but it was the first date. I am many things,
but never rude. Her room was too small for what I wanted. What I wanted
took more than eight feet of space.
Her arms bent lazily off the bed. We were trying hard to distinguish
which one of us appeared the most indifferent.
“I burn myself because this guy fell in love with me. He
loved me
so much I went along with him, like contagious laughter, but I didn't
really care. I never have, of course, but when he got wise, I had to
send him back to prison. He was given a mandatory case of AIDS. The
blisters let him get closer to me from hell…or
something.”
"I'm not easily impressed by that kind of kitchen utensil bullshit,” I said.
She walked her bare foot across my chest, the toes brown and tiny, worming under my left suspender.
“Take your band-aids off.”
“Why do you wear suspenders?”
“It’s a skinhead thing.”
“I didn't know you were a skinhead.”
“I’m not,” I said, incredulous.
“Does your mother still love you?”
“Not like that.”
She
began peeling. Her blisters were shiny. She piled the beige scabs in
front of my crotch. I picked one up and licked it. The sticky part
fastened to my tongue. She stopped picking her knee and gave me a look.
“You suck my burns like Fred Astaire,” the damp strip of sheet covering her lips smirked.
“How long
will it take me to get through this whole pile without water? Should I
be asking one of your boyfriends,” I swallowed.
The
adhesive grabbed every inch of my esophagus on the way down. By the
time I swallowed all her band-aids, I was sweating glue, my lips popped
open.
“Yuh nippuls ruh tuh bug,” I said, touching my tongue to my finger, immediately grafting my hand to my face.
Her body, white sheen of adhesive, snapped with each movement, tearing away from the mattress.
“Yeah, well, I'll be stuck to this mattress for a week. Good thing I gave up eating a long time ago.”
“Wah dat?”
“Your conscience,” she sighed.
I
opened the door to her room with my free hand. A bat-faced mammal with
long middle fingers slithered across the floor. Behind it, three men
wearing tuxedos urinated into a grand piano. The creature tap-danced to
the bed, jumping on her stomach and, realizing it was stuck, gave a
shocked yowl. It flailed, clawing her.
“Ah, uts flippun us off,” I hollered.
“Shh! Don't scare him. This is my cute pet Aye-aye. Isn't he cute?”
Her
face shimmered, a reeking mix of glue and blood. Dots of Aye-aye piss
squirted across her torso. I grabbed the thing by its round, fuzzy head
and yanked. It would not separate from her. It panicked and sunk its
fangs into my hand. I failed at screaming and fell against the wall.
The
well-dressed men rushed in. They fell on top of her, flattening the
Aye-aye, bones popping loose from its skin like twigs through a wet
paper jacket. It screamed and went into death throes, ejaculating a
numbed hiss.
The
men began raping her, although she kept insisting they were her
cousins. Every time I cleared my throat, they said I was next in line.
Finally, I wedged my penis up like a third suspender, but could only
burp dead funnels of her blister-wipes.
When
I got bored, the strongest cousin, blood-soaked, pinching both the
girl's legs together above her head, pounding what used to be her
interiors, in a strong Swedish accent, and I think he was talking to
me, said: “I assume that by coming here you enjoy the mundane so much
that for you it has become a scathing criticism of anything that
pretends to interpret itself as unique.”
That sticky dead blob. What a confused child. Her voice was the oldest thing about her.
“What kind of pile is this?” I thought, offended.
I cut my finger loose with a switch blade. My tongue was bleeding, but attached. I removed my cell phone and dialed.
“Mother,” I whispered.
“Fuck you want?” she hissed.
“Please, inform my life with a little meaning.”
There was dial tone.
