Sometimes
I feel like punching someone in the face until they can’t
breathe anymore and that’s the end of it. I feel
like smotthering someone and choking the life out of them and not
letting them breathe and then when they are good and dead take them out
into the bright sunlight and stare at their dead fucking body and smoke
three cigarettes and talk to the dead body about how great life is
without them being around to ruin things and then I would like to laugh
and call it a day. I sometimes feel lioke this is the only
way to make myself feel gopd and I wonder if this is a bad thing or if
this is just my way of being normal? I can never tell if this
is completely crazy or if my way of being normal is just so different
from everybody else’s normal that they can’t see
what it is that makes me normal and so they call me crazy but really
they are the ones who are really and truly crazy. I hate to
judge things, I hate to say that some things are good and somethings
are bad and I actualy really dislike people who do judge everything and
for the record I can think of nothing which is so despicable as someone
who all they do is sit around judge things and with such a cynical
attitude that everything is a negative and I hate the fucking lot of
them and the rest of fucking everybody and that they would
come up with such stupid things to say and to pawn them off as their
thoughts when really all they do is say negative things it is
completely reprehensible and it really fucking pisses me off and I can
barely handle myself around these types of people they make me so
fucking mad all I see is red and I want to jump out of a window to get
away from the negativity and I wish that there was a way to get away
from it without dying but it seems completely useless to even try so I
squint my eyes as tight I can get them and I buncvh m,y fists up into
these tight clenche4d fists and I shout and scream and want to0 kill
the fucking sun and bleed the shit out of every fucking animal on the
fucking earth and take all that blood nad wash the rest of the qworld
with it oncve and for all and to never lert up on the entire grip iof
the throat of the world and I weish that I could grasp the entire
workld with one big thrust and take iot and shake it loose of all of
its negativity and I wisdh there was a way the world couldf ber rid of
all the bad and negative shit and ih ate when there are people whhjo
think they are so fucking smart and really they are sub opar
intelligent and they try to pawn themselves off I hate it I hate it I
hate it I hate I hate Ihate Iohate it sop fucking much I can barely
hardly see straight I want to take the gun out of the drawert and
pouint it and shoot the shit out of it and never look back and so help
me I could care less whatever happens and whatever happens that is what
will happen and they rest of wverything will be over and I could really
care less I ham so sick of the fucking negative I want to take a
suitcaqser full of my things and disappear to a place over the border
where no one I know is and there I can disappear and not have to0 deal
with people who are stupid enough to think that they are smart and talk
sshit and think they know everything and I hate the fact that I even
have to write anything at all this should be understaood and I think
that the fact that I am even writing this in such a fucking frenzy is
cause enough for the whole world to take notice and take ab reath for
me and then hold that brewath u ntuil the entire world suffocates and
that will be the end of everything, I can hardly contain mysklerf right
now it is no surprise that I would do something ghastly it is no
surprise that I hate the fact that people aare trying to make me feel
bad and are trying to hinder me well being, I hate the fact that there
are people who are trying to hinder my well being and I wish there was
a way to get to the bottom of thingas and let the world be rid of alpl
the negativeity and I think there ios no good way to fdo that, it is
usules to try and rid the world of bad because the world is fukll of
bad and it always will be because it is usless and this life is useless
and people who are negative are usless and it pisses me opff royally
and I can think of nothing nice to say and I want to say nothing GH I
WANT TO TAKE Back off for Atigf and forget the whole entire thing, I
want to get back on a plane and fly to Atigf where the fudckign
negativbity will disappear opver the fucking ocean and I can let
everything seep out off m,ky skin and try to make my life better but it
won’t be it will be the same I can’t fix it, it
just gets worse and no matter what I tery I take a puill or I take a
this that or the other thing and smoke it all turns out to piss me off
because of all the fucking negativity and I can’t see
straight though it it is so frusterating, I hate the fact that there is
negativeity I hate thfact that there is negativity I hate the fact that
there is negaativeity I hate the fact that there is negativity I hate
the fact that there is I hate the fact I hate the fact I hate Ihate I
hate Ihate and that will be the end of it I can say no more it all too
much for me to bear I want to get risd of the fucking shiot and let it
go, fine it will go and thjat wjuill be akll
aaaaaaaqaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that will make me feel better
won’t it, just bang away at the keys until what
????? Until I bleed? Until I die? I won’t
die typing I am sure of that anhd there is nothing I can do to prevent
my death but I am sure that the fact that I am well is bullshit because
obviously I am not well it all a joke, I am sick I am angry and it will
not disappear, it will not be a big deal it will not be a big deal it
will all be ok in the end some day dome day some day some day I will
forget any of this haoppened I will forget all of this I weill forget
and that will be the neenenenenennenenenenenend of it all and that will
be the end of it the end of it the end of it owf it ititit of of o it
and that will be the end of it all and I will be alone and I will be
alone and I will be alone and I will not have to deal with
any more fucking negativity and I will not have to deal with
anymore negativbvity and I will not have to deal rwith any more
negataicvity and I w3uill not have to deal with any more negativity and
(h ah tae hate harte hateha56tehyatahhet hate the fucki9ng
negaticvigtiy n nmegativity negatovioty I been here
lonbg wnough to know that I cannot take any morwe pf this I
cannot at takle take taketaklet ketakletakteklaterkl tahet hatehate
hetahet hateh tahet I ccannoot take any morwe ofg othis thias this
tuihbs I cannot take any more of this I am do o o o os sof ucking mad I
canno0t take ny more of this this is the
thstehthetehbthetrthetthetthetth I am am out of my ducvking head wioth
angey asndgry angry anghry aI napa I am so0 fucking angry I canno0t
type straight and tyhei sh with will j be the ben end of it theis will
be the end of it this will be the end of it iIIIIII I cannot
take much much mcuch mcuch mcuchm uch cuchm,cuhcmicym juc
7hmjcuycmmkcughcnmmcygcjkighyc more andf this i9sd what I have to say
about it this is what I havr to day this is all I can sdsasay at thios
pouint I am deeing bl8ue and this is not red any more I am
seeing red n n no red no bluer no green and no now it is a
differwent color a differenbt co0olor or oco.rolror orlrorlcorlrocl I
cannot see zxstraouigh I cannot see astraighht I cannot see straight I
weant out Out out out out outou ioutou outo uto touto uotu outio
tutouOUI cannot see straight this the end end nend nenend nend nend
nthe te the the the end and this is the end and this isd the end and
this is the end is the end and this is the end an d this the end and
there is nothing more for me to say at this point there is nothing left
for me to say this is all I have to say and I am complete ly
insane and I am angry and insane and I want a reaon to get iout and a
way top get out and IIIIIIII cannot get the reason I cannot find a way,
I hate hate hatehat hetaheta hat het h tahat
h hate hate the fact that there is so
muchy fucking fucking fucking negatiovtyiy negativity and there is no
reaon for the way in which a…….it isw fucking
stupid and stup-id and I am completely mad and frusterated and I cannot
take nay more of this this is isisisisisisisisisisisisisxiaswasdfjulo
