The boxes are in alphabetical order, which is not
necessary. The size of each box is determined by the size of things to be
contained therein, and the tendency for those things not to be picked up. The
location of each box is determined by infrequency of use, with a priority given
to those who reside here. Every attempt (successful) was made to keep the boxes
next to each other.
There are three tiers of size: 1) NORMAL, 2) NORMAL 2X, and 3) EXPANDED SLOT. There are four (4)
Expanded Slots at the ends and are possible because of former hinges that were
in the way. These hinges have been removed with a non-electric hand
screwdriver. These slots have been awarded to myself and L----------.
Myself and L---------- are the only ones here.
Information Technology has been notified of this many times, and I remain in
'hidden' (his choice of term) status in the Global Directory. L----------works
in Information Technology. He and I brainstormed the issue, coming to the conclusion
that he is deleting me from directory. I have contacted L----------, and a Help
Request has been put in.
Help Requests are necessary to counteract FREEZING OF THE QUEUE . The queue is
very important. It keeps track of all jobs. When the word waiting appears
in the queue, it is not good. Waiting invariably turns into error.
Before they are officially errors they are back-logged in the queue. (You) get
frustrated and continuously hit objects around you—moving atoms and
re-channeling entropy (see index)—thus adding on to a back-log of jobs. This
causes FREEZING OF THE QUEUE.
Regarding non-queue 'general' freezing, if the original is not exactly the size
of its copy, this will happen. There are two solutions to this: affix the
ORIGINAL a) onto TEMPLATE II (forthcoming at another
juncture ) or, b) into one of the four aforementioned Expanded Slots.
Most notable of the Expanded Slots is the one
which has been used to contain fish. We refrain from calling it a 'fish tank',
for it failed to function in that manner and the fish died, as well as the
shrimp. At 9AM on Tuesday, there were two shrimps in the tank. One was alive,
the other one not. There were two theories: 1) One of the two shrimp was eaten
by a fish, or 2) There was only one shrimp, whom molted its shell. The popular
educated theory came to be the latter one. Those (myself) who were loyal to the
first theory were stoned. However, at 9AM on Wednesday, there were zero (0)
shrimps in the tank. Gone, vanished. A reactionary theory surfaced—that theory No.
1 was indeed true because a) it is more possible for a fish to eat two shrimps
in two days than b) for a shrimp to molt into nothingness. Short of an
existential crisis, we have reached a compromise in theory, simply: There was
only ever one (1) shrimp. He molted his shell, and brought an entire department
to philosophical paralysis. Then, on one fateful night, he (and his abandoned
shell) was eaten by—ironically—his presumed killer, the fish, who is now dead
too.
As for the boxes (besides the ones flattened and
used to pad down the wet carpet) some are missing from the main floor. These
boxes are exclusively for Corinthians. It was to show them that we are not a
plastic container kind of place, in the same way that our hand soap contains
bison lard. Our feelings about the exclusivity of these boxes were so strong,
and still are, that we did/do not let even the most esteemed of staff members
(myself and L----------) use them. That they are used occasionally out of
ignorance is a transgression to be lived with. That someone has taken them for
good is near insanity. Please, whoever you are, return these boxes. They were
in alphabetical order.
